


It feels like yesterday.

by Bluebuell33



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically boys are girls and girls are boys, F/F, Fem-Greg, Fem-Mycroft, Fem_Mike, Femlock, Johanna Watson - Freeform, Johanna is Bi, Male- Molly, Mary is Mark and he is no good, Matt Hooper - Freeform, POV First Person, Scarlett Holmes - Freeform, Scarlett is gay, Tags changing, fem-john, fem-sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 05:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26348170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluebuell33/pseuds/Bluebuell33
Summary: Scarlett Holmes remembers the day she met Johanna Watson like it was yesterday, not four years prior. As she returns from two years away and finds everything has changed. She discovers she must fight to get her best friend back and protect both of their lives. Will their friendship grow to something more? Scarlett Holmes isn't giving up her Dr Watson easily.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 14
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovely readers! Here is my first dabble into the Fem!lock world. I have enjoyed it and I may continue this story here and there, we shall see. I hope you love this little view into the world of Scarlett Holmes and Johanna Watson from Scarlett's POV. Thanks to my wonderful beta Paia for looking over this story for me. <3

The day I met her I remember quite clearly. I had been working on an experiment at St. Barts. The Specialist Registrar in the Morgue, Matt Hooper had called with a fresh body. 67, male, died of natural causes. It was perfect for what I needed. I remember it like it was yesterday. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thwack, Thwack. 

I drew my riding crop back, quickly landing three more blows on the body in front of me. There was something about the arch of the crop and the way it sange through the air that made me want to continue hitting the flesh before me. But this was for science and I had already laid the pattern that I needed. 

Now to wait for the results. I made a few notes in my notebook about the velocity and strength used. It had been highly satisfying to hit the dead man on the table. A small smile crossed my lips at the pleasure I received from the experiment. 

Off to my right, a door opened and Matt entered the room. 

“Bad day?” he asked, smiling. 

I took in his appearance, cataloging the changes since I saw him just ten minutes ago. With a single arched brow, I note that he is wearing a new shirt under his lab coat. 

“So, Scarlett, how about coffee?” he asks. 

“Did you change your shirt? You weren’t wearing that earlier,” I interrupted.  _ Why would he change his shirt? He had not been working on anyone. He had been waiting for me to finish with my experiment before he could perform the autopsy. What had prompted him to change a perfectly good shirt mid-day? _

“Uhm, yea. Just trying it. So, Scarlett, would you like to get a coffee with me?” he continued. 

_ Curious that he would just try a shirt out right now, then again I would never understand the thought pattern of men. Maybe I should conduct a further study of these creatures. Puzzling…. _

_ Oh! He asked me something. Something about coffee.. _

“Black, two sugars. I will be in the lab.” I gave a half smile and a dismissive wave of my hand that I often used on clients to get rid of them. Grabbing my Belstaff I made my way to the lab. I needed to analyze the soil sample taken from the crime scene this morning. 

In just five minutes I had my results. Now to find out if the brother has a green ladder. Changing out my last slide on the microscope, I am interrupted by Michaela Stamford and she is not alone. Behind her walks in the most stunning sandy blonde I have ever seen. 

She has a limp and a cane but radiates confidence. I am in awe. I can see that she is ex-military and a doctor. I find myself trying to impress her with my deductions. I offer her a flatshare as I can see she is in need of a new place. 

My heart leaps when she agrees. I sweep out the door leaving her with just my address and name. 

“221B Baker Street and the name is Scarlett Holmes.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was four years ago today, but in my mind it was yesterday. In my heart I knew I fell in love with Jo that day even though my head would not let me see it. I wasted the next two years of our lives just happy to be near her. Solving cases and running the streets of London together. 

I used any moment I could to be close to her. To hold her hand or sometimes more, all under the disguise of a case. I remember one instance when we were chasing after a jewel thief. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Joanna! Faster!” I yell behind me. “We need to cut him off!” 

She runs behind me at full speed, the cane long forgotten in the back of her closet. Unneeded since the first evening she chased down a cabbie with me before we moved in to Baker Street together. 

I rounded the corner, ducking quickly into the alley. I reach out grabbing her hand to pull her close beside me. We needed to lay a trap here for him. I knew he would travel straight down this alley in order to reach the station. I pull her against me as we step into the shadows. Her back is pressed tightly to my front. My nose is filled with the scent of her lavender shampoo, causing me to nuzzle gently at her hairline. 

“Scarlett,” she whispers, trying to slow her breathing. “Are you sure he will come this way?” 

“Yes,” I reply in her ear. My heart raced at her closeness. We don’t often get the chance to be so close. She feels wonderful in my arms. I often make up reasons to hold her close to me during a case.

Right now I can feel the gun that she has tucked in the back of her jeans pressing against my abdomen. She is a powerhouse of adrenaline during a chase. She thrives on it, we both do. But there is a glow about her that draws me like a moth to a flame. 

I keep coming back. Wanting more and more. She is my opposite in more ways than one. She is shorter than I (15cm shorter) and while I am willowy, she is built for power. Years of army training has made her a force to be reckoned with. 

I can feel her muscles tense as she waits for my signal. The sign to spring into action. I bring my lips near her ear to whisper softly. “We should get takeaway tonight.” 

She muffles a laugh. “You want to talk about that now?”

Her laugh is like music to my ears, a soothing balm for my soul. I want to bottle it and keep it always. Pull it out when I’m sad, to drown in the sound. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

That isn’t who we are anymore. Two years ago I played a dangerous game with Jaimasen Moriarty and lost. It forced me to leave everything I knew behind and disappear. With help from my sister, the British Government in a skirt, Marjorie, I was able to bring Moriarty’s crime web down. 

Now, I’m back but how do I tell that beautiful woman I left two years ago that I’m not dead…

She will hate me… 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I am back with chapter two of this two sweethearts. I hope you enjoy these small glimpses into the lives of Scarlett Holmes and Dr Johanna Watson, because I love writing them. <3

**Chapter 2**

I sat in my sister Marjorie’s private salon, watching her stylist try to tame my hair. It had grown wild in the past two years and at one point I had been forced to shear it near off. Making it grown back even curlier than before. I watched her give it shape again, the curls falling almost to my shoulders now. 

I sat straight in the chair, trying to keep my injured back from touching anything. Marjorie regarded this with a watchful eye. She had almost been too late in Serbia. I could see from her gaze the regret she felt. I tried to keep my wincing to a minimum at the very least. 

The door on the left opened as Marjorie’s PA Anthony entered carrying a suit bag and my Belstaff. I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped my lips. It was like seeing an old friend once more. Not Anthony, he was as cold and calculating as my sister. But my Belstaff. 

Sliding into my black bespoke suit after two years of wearing everything but a suit was like slipping on a silk glove. Smooth and soft. The last piece I needed was my favorite black Converse shoes. I spun around in search of them. 

“Where are they?” I demand. “What did you do with them?” 

“Really, sister dear. You should wear a shoe more appropriate for that suit.” Marjorie waved a hand towards Anthony. He pulled my shoes from a bag near his feet, handing them over as I glared at him. 

I laced them quickly, wiggling my toes in their comfiness. I must have grinned while doing it as I could hear Marjorie’s huff from across the room. 

“What is your plan now?” She asked. 

“I want to breathe in the sweet smell of London and pop over to Baker Street to surprise Jo.” I shrug. “Maybe not in that order.” 

“She’s not there anymore.” 

“What do you mean?” I swirled towards Marjorie while pulling on my coat. 

“Always so dramatic.” Marjorie shook her head. “Dr Watson moved out of Baker Street over a year ago. She has a flat across town now.” 

_I am not sure how I feel about this_. Why would she move? Did she care nothing for the life we had built together at Baker Street? 

“Where will she be tonight?” I asked, taking one more glance in the mirror to check my appearance, straightening the collar of my white blouse. 

“How should I know?” 

“Oh please,” I scoff. 

“She has an eight o’cock reservation at the Landmark tonight. But do be careful, little sister. You may not be well received.” Marjorie stepped up beside me, laying a hand on my arm. “Caring is not an advantage.” 

I shrugged off her hand. “How would you know?” I threw at her before leaving the room, headed for anywhere but there. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was ten after eight when I entered The Landmark. I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter. I couldn’t wait to see her. _Would the two years I was away have changed her?_ Before I even had a chance to ponder this thought, I saw her. 

She wore a fitted black lace cocktail dress with long sleeves. Most likely to hide the bullet wound to her shoulder. She was stunning. Her hair was longer, pulled back in a messy bun. I could see from where I stood that there were silver strands of hair mixed with her blonde. 

I wanted to run my hands through her hair and see if the silver made the texture of her hair different. I didn’t realise how much I had missed her until now. I knew that I had missed her over the last two years, but standing here, now - the ache was different. The longing was stronger. 

I took several steps forward, raising my hand before I even knew I was moving. 

“Jo,” I whispered, softly. I didn’t think she could hear me, but her head turned and our eyes connected. I could hear her gasp as her hand flew to cover her mouth. 

“Johanna? Johanna?” came a voice. That’s when I saw him. Sitting across from her like he had a right to be there. I turned my eyes to him, taking everything in. 

_Dating Jo. Cat Lover. Liar. Nurse. Only child. Liar. Going to propose. Liar. Controlling. Liar._

I hated him already. _Who did he think he was, dating my true love?_

“Scar?” 

I turned my head back to Jo. She was standing, moving across the room to me with him close behind. 

“Jo,” I opened my arms as she reached me, hoping she was coming in for a hug. I could use one. I missed her hugs. 

“How in the fuck are you even here? What the hell!” she was angry. She is so beautiful when angry with her eyes flashing. I glanced towards him to see a look of surprise at her language. 

_So she doesn’t cuss around him. Interesting._ I missed Jo’s foul language, she could make a sailor blush and I loved that about her. 

How could he even be proposing if he didn’t know that about her? She saw my glance towards him. It made her draw back from me, her anger subsiding. 

“Scarlett, this is Mark Morstan. Mark, this is Scarlett Holmes. My ex-best friend back from the dead it would seem.” Jo moved to stand next to him, her eyes still glaring at me. 

This must have been what Marjorie was trying to warn me about. 

_Care is not an advantage. All hearts are broken._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this story has taken on new life. What started as a dribble is growing into something more. Much like a lot of my stories tend too. lol I hope you will join me on this journey. I don't know at this point how many chapters there will be or where Scarlett is going to take me but I do think it's going to be a fun ride. I want to thank the wonderful Paia for being my beta and proof reader. She is amazing. ❤ Leave me a comment and let me know what to think about this story so far. I hope you enjoy reading about Scarlett and Jo as much as I love writing about them.

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Home _ . Two years since I walked through that door. Everything smells the same as I remember. It seems that Mrs Hudson is out for the evening, which is just as well. I want to be alone. Alone is what I deserve.

Jo made it very clear that I was not to contact her. She would reach out if and when she wanted to talk to me. I wish I had told her about the snipers. Maybe it’s better that I didn’t. One thing would lead to another, and she didn’t need to know about the scars I now carried on my body. 

I enter our old flat, quietly, softly. My shoes are not making a sound. If I close my eyes and enter my mind, I can see the flat as it was before I left.  _ Lights shining, Jo cooking in the kitchen. She was always better at that than me. There would be a fire in the hearth, warm and bright. Some horrible song playing on the radio that I would pretend to hate just to make her laugh.  _

I hate to open my eyes. To see the dust I can smell or feel the cold of a disused room. I open them long enough to find the sofa. I curl up with my coat wrapped tightly around me. I want to live a bit longer in my mind. I want to hold on to the Jo I used to know. The one that got me through the lonely two years away. The one I thought would be waiting for me with open arms. 

I want to lay on this sofa, curled around her and pretend. Dream of what could have been. I want to imagine her hands in my hair, her lips on my forehead. I want everything, everything that never was and may never be. 

I hear the click of heels and the tapping of a brolly, but I refuse to let go of my dream Jo, just for Marjorie. 

“Ah sister, I tried to warn you.” 

“It hurts,” I whisper. 

“I know it does. Do you want to stay with me and Gracie for now?” 

I don’t answer. I can’t trust my voice. There are tears silently sliding down my cheeks. I envision my Jo quietly wiping them away. Her fingers soft on my cheeks as she consoles me. I decided that I don’t want to be alone anymore. 

“Please,” I ask. “Please can I?” 

“Of course.” Marjorie helps me up. She hugs me before leading me out of the flat and down the stairs. Our relationship has always been different, but she is always there for me when I need her. I can always rely on her. 

As she closes the front door behind me, I open my eyes again. Sentiment has gotten the better of me today. I just want to curl up and sleep for days. Maybe then I will feel like facing the world again. 

Marjorie steps into the waiting car, then she looks back towards me. I move to enter the car, but looking down the street, I see a figure dart back into the alley. I can’t be sure but I am almost positive it was Mark. I am puzzled as to why he would be on Baker Street this late. 

Shaking my head, I enter the car. I keep my eyes staring out the window as we pass the alley. There is in fact a the figure of a man against one wall.  _ Curious. Why would he be here and why would he hide? _

“What do you know of Mark Morstan?” I ask my sister, turning from the window. 

“Not much - I have been collecting as much information as I can. He has too clean of a record for my taste.” Marjorie looks up from her phone to eye me. “What are you thinking? Is this just because of Dr Watson?”

I shrug. “No. I mean it’s part but there is something else about that guy. I can’t put my finger on it.” 

Marjorie turned her focus back to her phone. “I would suggest keeping your eye on him if I were you, sister dear.” 

I nod in agreement. Sinking back into the seat I look forward to arriving at Marjorie’s flat. I need quiet to think but also don’t want to be alone right now. I had really thought this night would go differently. I had imagined coming back to Baker Street with Jo and spending the evening getting to know each other again. Maybe finding the strength to tell her what I have felt since the day I met her. 

I listen to the quiet hum of the car and the tapping of Mar’s phone. It gives me a sort of peace. My sister and I were all we had left in this world. She had Grace now and I had hoped to have Jo… 

Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. 

As I thought about this, my phone pinged in my pocket. It was Jo.

**Received:**

**I expected better from you. What did you think you would gain from this?**

**How could you?!**

I stared at the message with a million thoughts running through my head.  _ What had she expected better of? What had I done? Was it just because of my return?  _

**Sent:**

**I am sorry. I had no choice. SH**

**Received:**

**No choice?! I can see you had no choice when you jumped, but what do you mean you had no choice?! He hasn’t done a thing to you!**

I am utterly confused now.  _ Who hasn’t done anything, and what have I done? _

**Sent:**

**Jo, I don’t know who you are talking about? SH**

**Received:**

**Of course not. I knew you would do something! And my name is Johanna.**

**Sent:**

**I am sorry. Please tell me what I did. SH**

**Received:**

**You didn’t have to hit him. He just wanted to talk to you. Sometimes you can be such a monster. Don’t speak to me again.**

**Sent:**

**Jo, what are you saying?! Who did I hit? I haven’t seen anyone since you tonight and my sister. SH**

Nothing. I grip my phone tightly. A sinking feeling deep in my gut. I feel sick. 

**Sent:**

**Jo, please tell me! SH**

**Sent:**

**Johanna? Please? SH**

**Sent:**

**Please.... SH**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the few of you reading this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I am having to much fun writing about these girls. Things are going to be dicey for them for a while but there will be a happy ending. Because Scar and Jo deserve happiness.   
> Thank you also to my wonderful beta Paia for helping me and loving this story. <3

~~~~~~~~~~~

My body is racing. I can’t sit still, my legs are restless and carrying me around Mar’s sitting room at a terrifying pace. Jo hasn’t answered my texts. My phone is still gripped tightly in my hand. Every vibration has me jumping out of my skin, but it's never from Jo. 

Mar and her wife, Detective Lestrade-Holmes, are working to figure out what happened. I know what happened but I can’t seem to do a thing about it. I have only been back two days. This was not how everything was supposed to go. Why do I feel like my life is more out of control now than when I was on the run? 

I let out a frustrated cry. All I wanted was Jo. I just wanted to go back to what our life used to be. Me and her against the rest of the world. 

“Scarlett?” 

I turn to see my sister’s wife, Grace standing in the door. She knew I was alive during the last years, but I haven’t seen her until now. She is a kind, soft person. Perfect for my sister. A contrast to the sometimes harshness Marjorie projects. I knew her before she met Marjorie. She had pulled me out of drug hazes and bolt holes years ago then gave me cases to work when I was clean. During one of those cases she met my sister. 

My panicked look must scare her because she is across the room and gathering me close for a hug before I know it. I can’t help the tears that fell from my eyes. I am tired of being strong, tired of being alone. She is like a mother to me. Between her and Mar, they have been like my parents. I resented it when I was younger but have craved it while being gone. 

“What am I going to do, Gray.” I sob. This is completely undignified but I can’t help it. She holds me tight, making soft shushing sounds. Her hands rub my back in that soothing mother way. This is how I wanted Jo and I’s reunion to go. 

“We will figure everything out. You should have told her you were alive before now, Scar.” 

I let out another sob. _Only Jo and her call me Scar._

“I know, but it wasn’t safe. You know it wasn’t. Now she is gone..forever…” New tears find their way from my eyes and roll down my cheeks. 

“We are going to fix this, don’t you worry.” She is warm and bright, much like sitting in a south facing window with the sun shining through. I hold her tightly. I want to believe her, she has never lied to me. But I see no way of fixing this. Jo is so mad that I am still alive. Maybe I shouldn’t be. _Would that make her happy?_

“Scarlett Christina Elizabeth Holmes! You drop that thought this instant.” Marjorie enters the room with a look that says she knows exactly what I had just been thinking. 

I pull back from Grace in shame to have been caught by Mar. I promised her years ago after my last overdose that I wouldn’t entertain thoughts of taking my own life again. I wipe away the tears on my cheeks and pick at my nails, not wanting to meet her eyes. 

“I have something to show you,” Marjorie continues. She hands me a hospital report that states Mark Morstan was treated for multiple lacerations, bruising, scratches and a broken nose earlier this evening. _But I just saw him._ I check the time, it had been four hours since I saw him with Jo and an hour since Jo texted. _How could that be?_

“Scarlett,” Marjorie is speaking again. “Scarlett, listen to me. He is saying you did it.” 

“What?! How? I haven’t seen him since The Landmark! I promise Mar!” I can’t stop my thoughts from screaming in my head. _This is why she is mad! She isn’t going to believe it’s not me! All because of Henry Lloyd._

I find my way to the sofa, collapsing with my head between my knees. _Torture in Serbia was easier then this._ I try to breathe but everything hurts. My hands are fisted deep in my curls, I barely feel the pull. 

“Scarlett?” Someone sits next to me. Soft, quiet. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly. “It’s going to be okay.” 

“You don’t know that!” I scream, standing up. I push away from them both. “She will never forgive me now! She will hate me forever! I have truly lost her…” I lose all hope at the end and my voice drops to a hushed whisper. “She is gone.” Turning from the room, I make my way up the stairs and down the hall. I see nothing around me. My feet take me to my room where I crawl into bed fully clothed, only kicking off my shoes. 

As tears fall from my eyes, I stumble back into my mind, back to the Jo that is waiting for me there. The one that got me through the torture and loneliness of the last years. She is vibrant and gorgeous where she waits for me on the sofa. 

“There you are, sweetheart.” She smiles, her arms open and inviting. I allow myself to curl into her embrace. I can feel the coarse fibers of her jumper press against my skin as I rest on her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, Jo.” I whisper. 

“For what my love?” 

“For Henry. For giving you a reason to doubt me again. For hurting you over and over.” I cry into her shoulder as she strokes my hair. I can almost feel her fingers sliding through my curls. _I wonder if I will ever feel the real thing._

“Henry was a long time ago, love.” She soothes.

“You never forgave me for him. I know you let it go, but you never dated after him... until now...” I puzzle the last thought. _Why hadn’t she? Jo stopped all dating after Henry. But why?_

“I think you know why,” She replies, pressing a kiss to my forehead. 

“I know I hoped that I was the reason but you were so angry at me for him.” I try to snuggle closer to her. Try to feel the warmth of her body. I always feel safe here in her arms. I wondered if it would feel the same outside of my mind. 

I let myself drift off in her arms. I can’t think clearly until I can calm down and no place calms me like here with Jo. Tomorrow I will see things differently and find a way to clear my name once again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another chapter. I hope you are all ready for this. I want to thank my two betas Cherieftpotter and fuckoffwatson1 for their help with this story. <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A gentle purr brings me from my dream state. I am reluctant to leave sleepy dream Jo, but Sir Edwin is very persistent and he rubs against my hand as I try to push him away. Leave it to Grace and Marjorie to have a cat as bossy as they are. 

“Yes, yes. I am awake.” I scratch behind his ears before stretching and sliding the duvet back. I listen as my body cracks and pops on the way to the loo. Stripping out of my suit, I look at my body in the mirror. 

I have lost so much weight while I was gone. My ribs show terribly. I have always been more willowy, but this is basically a skeleton with skin draped over it. There are scars on my torso and back, thankfully my arms fared better.

It makes hiding my scars a bit easier. I shower slowly, enjoying the warm water washing over me. I am careful where I scrub, making sure not to hit any of the newer injuries. My right hand still doesn’t close fully into a fist, but I have been assured that will heal. Since I am right handed, it's good to know. 

_Wait, I’m right handed… I..am..right....handed. I can’t close my right hand…_

_I need to see Mark’s medical report again. Right now!_

I wash the soap from my body and disembark from the shower at a record speed. I throw on some pants and my dressing gown before hurrying down the hall. At the top of the stairs I hear voices. _Marjorie and Grace._

“This is my fault. You know it is.” My sister’s voice drifts up to me.

“No it is not,” counters Grace. “We all had a part in this.”

“Some more than others.” Mar sighs. 

I decide not to linger and continue my descent to the kitchen where they are. 

“I need to see the hospital report!” I shout as I enter.

“Well, good morning to you as well.” Marjorie sips her tea. 

“Sorry, I just need to see it, where is it?” I try again. 

“My office, top left side.” Marjorie stands, following me down the hall to her office. “Is there a reason you’re not dressed?” 

“No time!” I scramble through her papers in search of my query. 

“Oh move over, it's right here.” She produces the paper, handing it over. “Now what did you figure out?” 

I read over the paper carefully but quickly. “Yes!” I shout, jumping a bit in the air. The paper waving in my hand. “It wasn’t me! I mean I knew it wasn’t but now I can prove it!” 

“How?” Grace asks from the door. 

“It says all the damage was to his left side, meaning the person that hit him was right handed.” I look at both of them to see if they understand my excitement. 

“But you are right handed?” Grace questions. It’s clear she has no idea what I am going on about. _She is a dear, but a bit clueless somedays. Must be too early in the morning._

I raise my right hand to show its slightly curled form with it’s black and blue bruising and lack of ability to close properly. “Everyone knows I’m right handed. But no one knows that my hand is injured to the point that it's unusable.” I smile triumphantly. 

“Oh... oh this is good!” Grace exclaims, turning to Marjorie. “We can clear her, right?” 

“We should be able to with her doctor evaluation at her return. But Scarlett, this would most likely be publicly discussed. They may find out about all the other injuries you have sustained. Is that something you are prepared for?” Marjorie pulled other papers from her desk drawer. “Since you were undercover for MI5, most will be classified but not all.” 

_She’s right. She is always right._

“I don’t need the world to know I didn’t do it. Just Jo. If I show her my hand that should be enough.” I start pacing the room. My dressing gown flows behind me. I realize that I am fact still only wearing pants under said dressing gown. “I need to see her.” 

I dash out of Mar’s office and up the stairs. I quickly dig through the wardrobe for any clothes I may have left here from before. I come out with a pair of skinny jeans and a black cashmere jumper. _Good enough for where I’m going._ I would prefer a suit but I don’t have time to return to Baker Street. I dress and lace up my shoes before checking the mirror. 

My hair is wild looking but there is little I can do. I run a brush through it, trying to calm the main part a little. _Good enough._ I slide my phone in my back pocket before leaving the room. 

I hurry back downstairs, not seeing either Marjorie or Grace as I reach the door. “I’ll be back!” I yell over my shoulder as I walk out. 

It takes me two seconds to flag down a taxi and give them Jo’s address. Now to wait and think about what to say. _Should have bought the doctor’s evaluation. Though Jo should be able to tell herself that it wasn’t me, just from looking at my hand. I pray this will work._

My phone pings in my pocket. A text from Jo. 

**Received:**

**Meet me at Regents Park. Now.**

I give the cabbie the address change and wonder why Jo wants to meet at the park. It seems like a coincidence that she would text me at the same time I am headed to see her. Marjorie would have something to say about coincidences. 

I arrive at the park. Paying the cabbie, I exit and make for the front entrance. I begin to wander through, hoping she will be waiting near the front. There is movement to my left and from behind a tree Mark steps out. I change course, heading straight for him. 

“You!” I yell. 

He only smirks at me which sends my rage through the roof. Just as I reach him, I realize my mistake. _He is not alone._ There is another man with him that steps out behind me, covering my nose and mouth quickly. I fight against them but the chloroform is faster. I feel the world darken and my knees give out under me. _Jo. Marjorie. Grace. Please anyone...._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to another chapter of Scarlett and Jo. I hope you enjoy. Thanks very much to my betas @cherieftpotter and @fuckoffwatson1 for their help with this story. <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing I notice is the cold. It’s the kind of frigid air I remember from Serbia. Bone chilling, make you wish for death instead, kind of cold. I slowly move to a state of awakeness. My eyes are heavy, before opening them, I take stock in what I can feel despite the cold. 

My hands are tied above me, stretching me so I have to remain on the balls of my feet.  _ Clever man. _ He thinks this will keep me.  _ Ice temps and no footing.  _ Maybe years ago it would have worked but that was before Serbia. I spent two weeks like this and still managed to get free. 

I blink my eyes open, my eyelids weigh a ton. The room is out of focus, I can only make out blurry objects. It’s a small room, most likely an industrial size cooler in an abandoned warehouse. I blink my eyes quickly, trying to clear them as there is a human shaped form sitting in a chair across from me. 

“Jo?” My voice cracks from the cold. I try to adjust my eyes to the light. 

“Scar?” Her voice is quiet, barely a whisper. 

“Are you okay?” I ask. My eyes are focusing on her now. She is tied to a chair ten feet from me. Her hair is loose around her shoulders. She is dressed in jeans and a grey jumper. 

“I think so,” she replies. I can see her tugging at the ropes around her wrists. 

“How long have you been here?” 

“Hmmmm,” she thinks about it. “Since just after you showed up at The Landmark. Mark caught me off guard in my anger.” 

I flinch at the reminder she is angry with me. My mind must be slow from the cold as it dawns on me that she couldn’t have sent the text messages last night if she was here already. “If you have been here all night then who sent me those texts?” I say more to myself then her. 

“What texts?” she questions. 

“I received texts from you last night accusing me of beating Mark. There was a medical report and everything.” My mind starts working through the details, piecing the new information together. 

“That bastard,” Jo curses. Pulling at her ties more. “I am going to beat him when I get free.” 

I am puzzled at her reaction. I thought she was in love with him. “Why is he doing this?” I only just met the man, why would he take us both prisoner the day after I return from the dead…

_ Was he waiting for me? Was he dating her to see if she knew anything? What am I missing? _

“Scarlett? What are you thinking? I can see your frown from here.” 

Jo’s comment brings me out of my head and I reopen eyes that I hadn’t realised that I had closed. “Uhm, just that it seems like he was waiting for this... How long have you known him? If you don’t mind me asking?” 

She shrugged her shoulders. “We started dating around a year ago. Why?”

_ A year and he was going to propose?  _ “Oh. Hmmm…” I glance up at my ties, checking the pipe I am attached to.  _ I need to get us free from here before he shows up.  _

“Do you know why I started dating him?” Jo asks. 

_ She is not done talking about this yet, I guess.  _ “No, I don’t,” I say through gritted teeth as I work the ties at my wrists. 

“You,” she says quietly. “You were gone and I was alone again. I had no plan for it to get to this point. I just didn’t want to be alone anymore. Why didn’t you tell me you were alive, Scar? Why?” 

I stop what I'm doing and look down at her. “I couldn’t. I’m sorry. They would have killed you.” 

“Who?” her eyes begged for answers. 

“Me!” came a voice from the door. “So happy you are both awake now.” Mark entered the room with a smile on his face. 

Jo struggled against her ropes. “You fucking bastard! What do you want?” 

I watch him calmly circle her, his hand in her hair. Before I could react he had grabbed a handful, pulling her head back to look up at him. “I want her back,” he growls.

“Her?” Jo probes, her face full of anger. Even with him leaning over her, she is defiant. A fighter.

_ I look him over, I can read it all. He was in love with Jamisen Moriarty.  _ “Killing us isn’t going to bring her back.” I comment, trying to pull his attention from Jo. 

“Oh, I know but it will bring me satisfaction to rid the world of you both.” He still holds Jo’s hair in his hand as he speaks. I can see in his eyes, he has a plan.  _ I just can’t figure out what it is.  _

Mark grins at me with pure wickedness. His eyes are cold.  _ How did my sweet Jo ever fall for him? What is so wrong that she would choose him when I was gone? _

He tightens his grip on her hair as his free hand pulls a knife from his pocket. “I have wanted to do this since the beginning.” He laughs, flicking the knife open. 

“NO! Leave her alone!” I scream. Twisting against my ties as I struggle to get free. Jo pulls against him. I can see her fighting the ties at her wrists.

“Oh what are you going to do about it? The  _ Great  _ Scarlett Holmes. I thought you would be more of a fighter. After all the stories I had to endure about you from this one.” He pulled hard on Jo’s hair, causing her to cry out in pain. 

“Untie my hands and you will see just how much of a fighter I am,” I snarl. 

“Nice try but you know that’s not going to happen. You are going to stay right there and watch.” In one swift movement before I can react, Mark slides the knife through Jo’s hair, cutting it clean off. “There, that's better. Now I never have to hear again about how you are growing it in remembrance of her,” he sneered. 

“Fuck off!” Jo snarled back at him, her eyes filled with tears at the hair lying on the floor. 

“Well, that was fun.” He smirked before walking back out the door. 

“Jo? Are you okay?” I ask softly. Her head hangs down. I can see teardrops falling on her jeans. “Jo? I’m going to get us out of here...” I wanted more than anything to get Jo and I out of this room and free of the madman before he decided to do something worse than just cutting Jo’s hair. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter of Jo's POV.

**Chapter 7**

**Jo’s POV**

I struggle against the rope that binds my hands behind my back. I am furious. Not only at myself for ending up here, but for trusting Mark... and Scarlett for that matter. Everyone I have ever loved has screwed me over in the end. Yet I keep trusting them. _ Will I never learn?  _

I try not to look at the hair lying on the floor in front of me or think about what it represents to me.  _ All the heartache and lonely nights spent missing her. _

I let out a frustrated growl, yanking hard on my ties. I can feel the ropes breaking the skin on my wrists. Soon they will start to bleed, but that doesn’t stop me.  _ We need to get free.  _ If only I had ot started working at that clinic. Maybe then I wouldn’t have met him and we wouldn’t be here now. 

“He would have found you either way.” Scarlett answers my thought from where she stands. 

“You don’t know that for sure,” I shout back. I am angry and spoiling for a fight. I refuse to look her way. I’m not ready to forgive her, though I understand why she left. When I chance a look at her,I find her eyes watching me filled with regret. She knows what I’m thinking. It makes my anger soften. I can feel it slide away. “Sorry… I didn’t… You’re probably right.” 

She doesn’t answer, just nods her head before looking around the room. I can feel the guilt twisting in my gut. She doesn’t deserve my anger, not like this. Not when we are being held and have no way of escaping at this point. We should be working together, not fighting. _ What if he kills us? Do I really want our last words to be filled with anger?  _

I take this moment to really look at my best friend. She is smaller than I have ever seen her. It’s hard to tell with her jumper, but I know Scar’s body better than anyone else. She is thin across her face as well, her cheekbones stand out, clearly showing signs of malnutrition. Her right hand is bandaged and causing her pain. 

I take a small breath and tried not to think of the cold seeping into my skin. “I don’t want to be angry with you,” I whisper. I know she can hear me. “I do understand why you left. I just don’t know why you couldn’t tell me at some point during that time… Did I mean that little to you?” 

She whips her head towards me, her eyes filled with disbelief. “That much, Jo. I couldn’t risk your life until I was sure that you would be safe. I wanted to tell you, but they would have known if we both disappeared. Please believe me,” she pleaded. 

I took a moment to process the information. Scarlett’s eyes searched mine with desperation. I liked to believe that Scar wasn’t lying to me, but I was a terrible judge of that. She always seems genuine to me even though I know for a fact she has lied to me on occasions. Before I could answer, the door opened, bringing Mark back into the room. 

He looked pleased with the situation and I wished very much to hit him. _ Hard _ . Scarlett looked like she was thinking the same. 

“Did you miss me? Or were you catching up? I’m afraid I have to break up the party. Scarlett and I need to have a chat and unfortunately, Johanna, you are not invited.” Mark smirked as he released the rope tying Scar to the pipe above her, but still keeping her hands tied. 

The second her hands were lowered, Scarlett threw an elbow into Mark’s stomach, knocking him off balance. She tries to reach the door, only to have him tackle her. As they fight, I scream at him from my chair. I thrash back and forth, trying to free my hands and get to her. To help her. 

With her hands still tied, he easily overpowers her. I watch helplessly from my chair as he hits her across the face, rendering her unconscious. His laugh is colder than the air around me as he drags her from the room. 

“Let her go, you bastard!” I scream, still fighting my ties.  _ If he hurts her, I will kill him with my bare hands.  _

He slams the door behind him. I can hear the lock sliding into place. I have managed to free one of my hands. Frantically working to free the second, I listen for sounds outside of the room. It’s impossible to hear anything aside from the hum of the cooler.  _ I will not be caught defenseless by him again.  _ The next time he enters this room, I will be ready for him…


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Scarlett’s POV**

When I come to this time, the left side of my face stings from Mark hitting me. I open my eyes to find I am in a different room. This time is different, I have been gagged with a rather nasty cloth and tied to a chair like Jo had been.  _ Jo! _ I look around quickly but she is not in sight. I am at least no longer in the cooler, instead this room is warmer and brighter. I can see from my scan of the room that I am alone.  _ No Mark or Jo around.  _ The room is a large open factory floor, and from the light out the windows, I can see it’s late afternoon. I wonder if it's the same day or the next. The noise coming from outside says we are near the river. Most likely in an abandoned warehouse district. 

I tug at the rope that binds me to the chair. They are well tied, so are the ones at my ankles. I am frustrated that he keeps beating me. But unknown to him, I am far from beaten. I will find a way to get free and back to Jo before she freezes. I want so badly to be done with all of this. I thought that I was free after taking down the cell in Serbia. We were supposed to be able to move on with our lives now. I was going to finally tell Jo that I loved her and always have. Instead I am once again fighting for my life. 

Across a two hundred foot span of the room, a door opens, revealing a different man than Mark. He is small and mousy with a sharp nose and beady eyes. He reminds me of a rat scurrying around. He comes near me, watching me closely. I keep my gaze steady, my good hand making a fist behind the chair. I have no way of fighting him, but it makes me feel like I do. 

He darts back and forth around the room before stopping a short distance away. 

“Holmes? Scarlett Holmes?” he whispers, his eyes moving around the room, looking everywhere. He moves closer to remove my gag. 

“Yes. And you are?” I reply, unsure if this man is working with Mark or not. 

“I’m Jack. I’m here to help.” He quickly moves behind me, I can feel a knife cutting through my ties. “Mrs Lestrade-Holmes sent me.” 

“How did you find me?” I question as he frees my wrists. I rub them where the ties had been as he frees my ankles. 

“No time for talking, we need to leave.” 

“We need to get Jo. She is in a cooler somewhere in the building.” I try to stand, wobbling on my feet after not using them for so long. 

“We need to get you out first.” He starts moving back towards the door where he entered from. 

“I am not leaving without her,” I say firmly. He shakes his head, taking a gun out from under his jacket. He checks that it's loaded before handing it to me. 

“Very well. But if Mrs Lestrade-Holmes kills me because of this I will be very upset.” 

I smile at him before leading the way. Several wrong turns later, we find the freezer from the sounds of banging on the inside. There is a combination lock on the door. I curse at the fact I don’t have my lock pick set on me. Looking around, I see Jack holding a set out for me to use. 

“Oh, thank you.” I quickly get to work. It takes me slightly longer than normal due to my right hand not working correctly. I slide the bolt away, opening the door slowly. A chair flies at my head as I enter. A quick duck saves me from getting hit but not Jack, who is right behind me. 

He goes down with a thud. Jo is at my side in a second. 

“Who is he?!” She has a rope in her hand, knotted on one side as a makeshift weapon. Her short hair swishes around her ears, her blue eyes flash and she is radiant. I can’t take my eyes off her. 

“Jack,” I finally manage. “Marjorie sent him to find me. Well, us.” 

“Oh! Whoops,” Jo drops her rope and kneels to check the man. I can hear him groan as she checks him over. “Sorry about that, Jack. All I saw was a man with Scar. You will live.” 

“Good, we need to get out of here.” I lean down to help Jo lift Jack to his feet. The three of us then make our way out of the building. Jack shows us to where he left a car. Jo and I place him in the back seat before getting in. Jo drives and we quickly leave the area. 

“Where do you think he went?” she asks quietly while driving. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you think he’ll try again?” 

“Yes. I do.” I reach over with my left hand to touch her arm. “It won’t happen a second time. I won’t let it.” 

She nods. Her eyes are not leaving the road. 

“Jo?” I squeeze her arm. “I promise.” 

She nods again, still not looking at me. “Marjorie’s?” 

“Yes, we should go there.” A thought pops into my head and I look over my shoulder to Jack. “Do you have a phone?”

He slides one from his pocket, handing it up to me. 

“Prefect.” I quickly start texting with Marjorie. After a few moments, I turn to look at Jo. “Okay, everything is set. She is ready for us.” 

Jo nods. I am beginning to worry: she is never this quiet. Once we are safe at Mar’s, I hope she will want to talk, because I have so much to say to her… 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have reached the end of my first fem!lock but not my last. I have loved writing this women and plan to write more with them. I hope you all enjoyed the story. I want to thank my betas @Cherieftpotter and @fuckoffwatson for their help with this story.  
> Thank you for reading and enjoy. <3

**Chapter 9**

**Jo’s POV**

There is an anger in me that I can’t stomp out. I am silent while driving through the streets of London. I want to find Mark and make him pay for all the lies. I hate myself for believing everything he said. I hate that I was so gullible… 

I slam my hand against the wheel, my anger making me want to cause myself pain. I am not suicidal, just angry I let this happen. I berate myself yet again. I feel a small hand grip my forearm then squeeze.  _ Scar.  _ She is looking straight ahead but she is holding my arm tightly. I let go of the wheel, taking her hand in mine. 

She lets out a small gasp as I hold her hand in mine. Her fingers are long and thin compared to my shorter ones. She squeezes. Turning her head, she gives me a small smile. I return it, trying to show her I’m not angry with her. 

“I’m glad,” she whispers. 

She can still read me and it makes my heart lift at the thought. She has always been so brilliant and that’s what I love about her. We sit in silence for the rest of the ride, arriving outside Marjorie and Grace’s in under an hour. Scar ushered me in and up to a guest room before either Lestrade-Holmes knew we were in the flat. 

“Wait here, take a shower. I’m going to fill Mar and Gray in on everything that happened,” she whispers. 

“I should be there,” I counter, though a shower sounds really good right now. I want nothing more than to wash Mark’s touch off of me. 

“You can tell them your side tomorrow,” she adds, giving me a smile before she starts to walk out the door. 

“Scar?” I can’t let her just walk out right now. 

“Yeah?” She pauses to turn and look at me. 

“Thank you,” I whisper. 

“Always, Jo. Always for you.” In the next second we are hugging. The grip we have on each other is tight, almost painful. I can’t let go of her and she isn’t letting go of me either. 

“There you two are,” Grace stands behind Scar. There are tears in her eyes. 

“Hey, Grace.” I let go of Scar to hug Grace. It has been a while since I have seen her. We used to go out to the pub together on Friday nights before Scarlett jumped. 

She hugs me tightly before turning to Scar. “She is waiting for you in the office. Don’t worry, I will take care of Jo.” 

Scarlett looks at me for a moment as she turns, I grab her hand, pulling her close. “When you are done, please come back to me. I need to see you,” I whisper in her ear. 

She nods, leaving the room quickly. I catch Grace watching me closely. 

“Are you going to tell her?”

“Tell her what?” I question, moving to retrieve clothes from the wardrobe. 

“That you love her?” Grace supplies. “She deserves to know after all this time.” 

“I can’t Grace, I only just got her back.” I regret the drinking night I shared that information with her. 

“You know she loves you too, right?” Grace comments before leaving me to my shower. 

I spend a long time in the shower, just soaking up the warm water. It feels glorious to me after spending so long tied to that chair in the freezing cold. I can feel the water washing away the feel of Mark's hands on my body. As I shampoo my hair it is odd to have it so short now. I have gotten used to my long hair over the years and I loved it. Now thanks to Mark it was about chin length. The last time it was that short was during my tour in Iraq. 

I had stopped cutting it after she jumped. I run my hands through it and take a moment to mourn the loss. The water turns cold before I manage to pry myself out of the cocoon I have made in there. I towel off and dress in the pajama pants and t-shirt I had found. When I leave the bathroom, I find Scar sitting on the end of the bed. She has changed and taken a shower as well. 

I remove the towel from my hair and walk over to sit beside her. She looks over at me with a small smile. 

"Hey." 

"Hey," I reply. "What did Marjorie say?" 

"She is debriefing Jack and following up on my information regarding Mark right now." She looks back down at the hands in her lap. 

"Hey, she will find him. I'm sure. She isn't the British government in a skirt for nothing." I knock my shoulder against Scar's. I don't miss her wince at the contact. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah." She moves over a bit on the bed. 

"No you're not. Did he hurt you?" I stand to move in front of her. She is still looking at the floor. I kneel in front of her, taking her hands in mine. I notice that her right hand is injured. "When did this happen?" I ask, holding her hand carefully. "Talk to me, Scar. Please." I lift her chin slightly so I can see her eyes. There are tears slipping down her beautiful face as she raises her eyes to meet mine. What I see in those eyes goes straight to my heart.  _ She loves me... I can see it. How did I never see it before? _

"Scar?" I whisper. "May I kiss you?" I ask, surprising myself.

She looks surprised as well for a second before giving me a small nod of her head. I smile as I lean forward and softly press my lips to hers. 

Her lips feel like how I always imagined they would. Soft and smooth. I don't ever want to stop kissing her. I slowly stand still kissing her until she tilts her head back to keep our kiss going. I break it off as slowly as I had started it, smiling down at her. 

"Stay with me tonight, please? I don't want to let you out of my sight." I lift my hand to touch the side of her face. 

"Okay," she replies timidly. 

We climb up the bed and slide under the covers. I reach for her immediately, pulling her close to me. "Is this okay?" I ask. 

"Yes," she nuzzles close, her nose on my neck, her hair on my lips. 

I press a kiss there as I hold her, letting out a sigh into her hair at my luck. 

"I always wondered how this would feel," she says, her lips brushing across my skin. 

"Does it feel like you thought it would?" I ask, curious myself. 

"Better," she replies. 

I smile, softly. In the morning I will tell her everything. I will share my love with her. She is my everything and always has been. 

"I love you," I whisper as she falls asleep in my arms, right where she belongs. 

The End


End file.
